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Obviously, Easter is not about hares, rabbits, or bunnies. However, the Easter Bunny is not an American invention conjured up by some Ad Man down on Madison Avenue to move vast quantities of chocolate and cheap wicker baskets. I wholeheartedly thought it was until I read the Easter Bunny Wikipedia article, which I strongly suggest reading. It's fascinating. If you don't want to read it, here's a quick overview: Originating among German Lutherans, the Easter Hare originally played the role of a judge, evaluating whether children were good or disobedient in behavior at the start of the season of Eastertide. Yes, Eastertide is a real thing, as is Christmastide, but I will not be going into these things here today. The German Lutherans brought this tradition to the Dutch region of Pennsylvania when they moved to America in the early 18th century. The hare would lay eggs, colored in various colors, mostly red (to symbolize the blood of Christ ) and green (to symbolize the new growth of the spring). So this tradition of a rabbit that lays eggs goes back as far, if not further back than Santa Claus. I am happy to tell you all that this is incredible news to me, as I totally thought the Easter Bunny was older than me by a decade or two. I always think that the commodification of holidays is a strictly American phenomenon, but it has been going on for centuries! Granted, when the early German Lutherans were coming up with this folklore, they weren't selling anything, but were merely coming up with interesting stories to tell their children and trick them into being good, so that they would eat the leftover eggs that were forbidden during Lent. Tricky adults. I am always interested in finding out how traditions like this are started and I am usually more excited when they were not concocted in a boardroom by a bunch of stuffed shirts. Think about it. Modern versions of this kind of storytelling and tradition never catch on; take for an example, the holiday known as "Festivus." This is a holiday that was created by the family of one of the writers on Seinfeld, and then turned into a full episode in which Jerry and his friends decide to make a holiday that went against the extreme consumerism of the Christmas season. Yes, people in certain circles celebrate this holiday, and during the holiday season at the bar, you can always hear a couple of smart-alecs saying "Happy Festivus!" after also saying "HappychannukahMerryChristmasandHappyKwanza." But my point is, is there's no Festivus Clown that shimmies through the radiator to deliver fresh foie gras to good boys and girls. And, although Festivus does in fact, have a couple of "traditions," it is an extremely niche holiday celebrated by a couple of fanatics of the show, Seinfeld. I can't even think of a modern equivalent of the Easter Bunny. It is a rare thing to even have a new holiday. Much less a new holiday mascot. Most new holidays are in memorandum, and it would be insane to have a mascot for these holidays. And there are plenty of holidays with no mascot, or one that isn't particularly memorable or commoditized. I am thinking of one of my favorite holidays, New Years Eve and New Years Day. The mascot of this is Old Man Time, and the New Years Baby who wears the sash displaying the new year on it. But that tradition is being lost, at least in this country, by all these dropping balls. I think that is because that particular holiday is mostly for adults and they don't intrinsically care for mascots in their holidays. They no longer believe in the children-oriented mascots because they themselves have become these mascots, and act as Santa and the Easter Bunny, staying up after the kids have gone to bed putting out all the gifts and such. The sense of magic that these mascots create for children is lost at a certain age. I think future generations should make mascots for all of the holidays. I think Chris Columbus should sail across the sky in a magical Nina-Pinta-Santa Maria Super ship dropping blankets, medical supplies and booze to unsuspecting adults while they sleep on Columbus Day Eve. I want the New Years Bum to cure all of the hangovers with giant pancakes and Bloody Marys. I want a giant winged Uncle Sam to give out fireworks on the third of July in preparation for the Fourth. And so on and so on until the adults are as excited about the holidays as the kids are. Because after all, why should youth be wasted on the young?