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The title of this piece comes from the website Bacon or Beercan. For a while it was just the "bacon or beer can" guy, then they added the "Hairpiece or Herpes" guy, who, if you go to that website you might know from the nightly news. Or not. I was one of those people who thought the whole thing was hilarious, so I named this piece after it. Mostly, because of the figure who appears in the left-hand side of the picture with the microscopic penis and the spots. Also, the guy holding him up could be wearing a hairpiece on his face. It could also be a merkin, I'm not sure. At any rate, I couldn't originally figure out the point to this one, so I gave it the arbitrary name. It may have something to do with sickness. It could be a fever dream. My fever dreams used to always involve math. I would go to sleep thinking that I wasn't sick, and then spend all night sweating and dreaming of more and more complex math nightmares. A lot of time, the problems weren't in the real world, but looked more like the code from The Matrix moving along in different plains in varying forms of difficulty. I was never able to solve these problems and would wake up sweaty and sick. It was so common when I was sick, that I could tell in the dream that I was getting sick just from the math problems showing up in the dream. I have never missed a shift at the restaurant for being sick. Sure, I have been sick at work before; I'm sure everyone has been at some point, but I have never actually missed a shift on account of sickness. That includes hangovers. Are there times when I should have taken off? Heck Yes! I have been in rough shape for work plenty of times, but I always pushed through it. Knock on wood, in my adult life, I have only been sick enough to miss work a couple of times, and those times all magically fell on my days off. Then, when I had to work again, I would pop some Dayquil and show up and wait those darn tables, by golly. I think if waiters had some sort of Union, you wouldn't have to do that. In fact, I'm pretty sure that it's not even right to do that. Showing up to work with the flu is just mean to your co-workers and customers. But then, if you go into an office building with the flu, you are just as likely to infect the same amount of people or more, what with the central air and ventilation systems and what not. So what's a person to do? You can't miss that much work even if you DO have sick days. So you go to work and say, "Well, I hope these people all took their flu shots." You suck it up and work. People have been doing it for as long as there has been work. I'm just glad I don't have to work with Scarlet Fever or The Plague. That would've been difficult, although I'm sure people have done it. I mean, of course people have done it! Think of those poor dudes who had to dispose of the bodies! They probably had the same sickness and just worked until they climbed in the wheelbarrow themselves and had someone take over for them.
The title of this piece comes from the website Bacon or Beercan. For a while it was just the "bacon or beer can" guy, then they added the "Hairpiece or Herpes" guy, who, if you go to that website you might know from the nightly news. Or not. I was one of those people who thought the whole thing was hilarious, so I named this piece after it. Mostly, because of the figure who appears in the left-hand side of the picture with the microscopic penis and the spots. Also, the guy holding him up could be wearing a hairpiece on his face. It could also be a merkin, I'm not sure. At any rate, I couldn't originally figure out the point to this one, so I gave it the arbitrary name. It may have something to do with sickness. It could be a fever dream. My fever dreams used to always involve math. I would go to sleep thinking that I wasn't sick, and then spend all night sweating and dreaming of more and more complex math nightmares. A lot of time, the problems weren't in the real world, but looked more like the code from The Matrix moving along in different plains in varying forms of difficulty. I was never able to solve these problems and would wake up sweaty and sick. It was so common when I was sick, that I could tell in the dream that I was getting sick just from the math problems showing up in the dream. I have never missed a shift at the restaurant for being sick. Sure, I have been sick at work before; I'm sure everyone has been at some point, but I have never actually missed a shift on account of sickness. That includes hangovers. Are there times when I should have taken off? Heck Yes! I have been in rough shape for work plenty of times, but I always pushed through it. Knock on wood, in my adult life, I have only been sick enough to miss work a couple of times, and those times all magically fell on my days off. Then, when I had to work again, I would pop some Dayquil and show up and wait those darn tables, by golly. I think if waiters had some sort of Union, you wouldn't have to do that. In fact, I'm pretty sure that it's not even right to do that. Showing up to work with the flu is just mean to your co-workers and customers. But then, if you go into an office building with the flu, you are just as likely to infect the same amount of people or more, what with the central air and ventilation systems and what not. So what's a person to do? You can't miss that much work even if you DO have sick days. So you go to work and say, "Well, I hope these people all took their flu shots." You suck it up and work. People have been doing it for as long as there has been work. I'm just glad I don't have to work with Scarlet Fever or The Plague. That would've been difficult, although I'm sure people have done it. I mean, of course people have done it! Think of those poor dudes who had to dispose of the bodies! They probably had the same sickness and just worked until they climbed in the wheelbarrow themselves and had someone take over for them.
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